Even drug dealers have bad days. Try as they may to give a great deal to their customer base but something just seems to get in the way of their best intentions…like lack of common sense? Here are a few drug dealers that should consider a career change.


Paranoia is a common complaint against the drug user but some of the worst drug dealers sample their own merchandise a little too much. One buyer reported his drug dealer would make him wait 30 minutes outside while the dealer removed all of the furniture barricading his door. After the buyer was inside, the dealer would then replace the barricade taking another 30 minutes. Who knows how long the drug deal took but the barricade had to be removed again for the customer to leave. One can only assume the dealer then put the barricade back again.

Wrong Number

It’s always a good idea to stay in touch with your customer base. If you get some new product in, let your regular customers know and you can move it quickly. That is why a lady texted one of her best regulars that she had 200 Percocets. Did she want any? The response came back a quick ‘yes’ and a time and place was set up. Unfortunately, she texted the wrong number and happened to offer illegal drugs to a police officer. He and his buddies showed up and arrested her and her boyfriend for drug trafficking. The police had very little sympathy for the couple. It seemed they showed up with only 100 Percocets. Nothing is lower than a business with false advertising.

Anyone Need a Tree?

Advertising on Facebook isn’t under the radar anymore. Think you’re sliding one by? By now, everyone knows what “need a tree?” means. So do the police. This is one of the quickest ways to get on the radar.

Being Competitive

Nate Newton played offensive line for 14 years in the NFL for a lengthy career. After his playing days, he turned to a second career: drug dealer. It didn’t take long before Newt was caught with 213 pounds of marijuana in the trunk of his car. He was quickly arraigned and posted bail until his court date. Five weeks later, Newt was caught with 175 pounds of weed in his car. When asked why he couldn’t wait until after his court date, he replied, “I’ve always been competitive.”

Business Acumen

Nineteen-year-old Anthony Carrazco was a ‘budding’ entrepreneur. He knew that a large customer base was what he needed and he had the perfect method to put one together: go door-to-door selling his weed. At three in the morning, he set out with over 3 ounces of weed which meant he was carrying for more than personal use. Anthony knocked on several doors before he found an interested customer. Sensing his first sale, he was invited into the home of an off-duty police officer who quickly returned with his badge and a pair of handcuffs. To make matters worse, he was carrying a firearm and the officer’s home was within a school zone, both of which increased the severity of the charges. Could it get any worse? Yes, Anthony lives in Texas, one of the harshest states in sentencing laws.

Directions to a Bust

Six business men set out to advertise their new business. They handed out flyers everywhere in the neighborhood advertising heroin and gave their address for any prospective customer who want to stop on by. Well, the police were evidently on the mailing list as well. When they stopped on by with a few of their friends, they found scores of pills, a bunch of weed and the heroin. The bonus prize was the meth lab going on in the back of the house. It is rare when a business delivers more than it advertises.

Note: the people and animals in the photos are not necessarily drug dealers. Their humorous participation is appreciated.


What career would you suggest for these former drug dealers?