Monkey Head Transplants May Give Hope to the World

We all have had bad days where the more we speak, the deeper we dig ourselves. Most of us get past it by going to sleep and waking up another day. For some, more help may be needed. With the recent successes of head transplantation of monkeys and cadavers, we may have a way of helping those who are terminally afflicted.

Arnold Swarzenegger

Arnold gets a reprieve. But, there was a time where it was questionable. No matter what your stance is on gay marriage, I’m pretty sure both sides understand what it is we are talking about. Right? In 2003, while running for election to be California’s governor, Arnold is quoted as saying, “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” While his stance on gay marriage has switched, his understanding of the issue is much improved. He is mentioned here as hope for everyone that things will get better.

Samuel Goldwyn

A golden giant of a producer in the history of Hollywood, Goldwyn was shrewd enough to start Paramount pictures and shape Hollywood into its future self. But, even the golden producer himself couldn’t avoid one faux pas for which he is still famous. “I don’t think anybody should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.” Proof that anyone can have a monkey head day.

The Velvet Underground

This might be stretching it a bit but it may be more spot on. The Velvet Underground released their first album, The Velvet Underground and Nico, in 1967. The band would have an extremely huge effect on its listeners even today. It was marked as unique, highly original and avant guarde. It is still listed as one of the most important albums in rock history. But, by 1973, their album “Squeeze” ended their once promising career. It should have come as no surprise since no original band member was left in the group. It seems the record company performed their own head transplant by bringing in new members who had nothing to do with the Underground’s music and style, using just the name. Maybe it’s the record executives who needed the monkey’s head?

King Phillip II of Spain

Had to make an historical reference here as history is full of people who could use a monkey’s head. Phillip ruled for 44 years and drove his country bankrupt, challenged France to a stalemate, lost the Netherlands and had his entire Spanish Treasure Fleet captured by one admiral, Dutch Admiral Piet Hein. Yet, none of this is what he is most famous for: The Spanish Inquisition! My apologies to monkeys everywhere.

Donald Trump

It is so easy to pick on The Donald. The man writes your material for you. The poster boy for Monkey Head, he has been quoted for several things that just make us scratch our fur in wonderment. Calling Mexican immigrants “criminals and rapists” has lost him most of the Hispanic voting bloc. His “Laziness is a trait in the blacks…” quote has alienated the African-American community. Trump’s tweet, “I fully understand why her former husband left her for another man…” about Arianna Huffington drives away much more than just one group of voters. Our best defense is to let Trump continue forward. By the time of the elections, he will have eliminated anyone who was willing to vote for him unless we are all having a monkey head day.


How many times have you felt you would be better off with a monkey’s head?