The wonder that is UrbanDictionary.com has provided some really fantastic insight and has kept us in the lingo loop since it began in 1999. With millions of definitions, the site is Webster’s more cultured cousin lacking a serious etiquette filter. Here’s a lovely collection of some hidden gem definitions. Be warned, some of the words below may be a bit offensive in the classic Urban Dictionary way.
Why not start with a doozy? A Cosby Sweater (it’s important that both words be capitalized otherwise it will be confused with an actual sweater) is the result of eating a ‘bright, colorful breakfast’ then vomiting colorfully all over your sexual partner’s chest. Thanks to you, they are now donned with a Bill Cosby-esque sweater. Get it?
You’re dankrupt when you run out of marijuana, which Urban Dictionary defines as God’s gift to mankind. By the sounds of it, this is a bad place to be for sure.
Because you’ve always wondered what to call it, this is the female equivalent to the cock block. Don’t get clam jammed and let your lady friends jack up your game.
Likely one of the most clever words and something that has true use in everyday language, an askhole is somebody who asks an abundance of stupid, obnoxious questions. A similar useful word is gormless — a British gem meaning brainless and lacking in intelligence. Love to the Brits.
You may appreciate this one if you enjoy living life on the edge. Next time you’re wanking at home yell out somebody’s name. This of course assumes the person’s name who you yelled is within earshot and is now on their way to see what the hell you want. Otherwise it will appear you’re just really fond of that person. See if you can close the deal before they interrupt.
That desperate stare you give your smartphone when somebody is responding to your text, you can see them typing, and you’re waiting for their response to pop up. Because we’ve all been there.
Like how Daryl from The Walking Dead made an ear necklace from the zombies he killed, screwvenir is a personal item you take after a sexual encounter.
Because we all need a one-word adjective to describe a bearded person who is obsessed with beer.
Take a dump on a laptop and close it. You, my friend, have now got yourself a Chicago waffle.
The exact opposite of eye candy, duh.
Don’t try this at home folks. A cucumber sundae happens when you place a healthy serving of ice cream onto testicles. The penis gets so cold and frigid it will become erect and green. Why you would want this is a mystery…perhaps for the opportunity to use it as a pickup line? “Hey babe, you hungry for a cucumber sundae?”
A deluded loser with terrible acne?
When a nerd has a lot of swag, he or she is a Swaggy Baggins. Stand tall. Stand proud.
Now go forth and use your new found words. Try to use them as long as you can while maintaining a normal conversation.