What Are the 9 Coldest States in the USA?

Do you think you live in one of the coldest places in the United States? We’ve done a bit of research and found out which American states are the most freezing. If you don’t live in one of the states below, consider yourself lucky! (We thought that Michigan would have made it on here considering that viral Detroit rap song: “It’s So Cold in the D” – but it really didn’t make the cut.)

Take a look below as we travel through the Midwest plains, mountain ranges, and just plain old freezing cold places. If you live in any of these states, please post your stories of the coldest winters in your memory in the comments below! We’d love to hear reports from ground-zero.


9. New Hampshire

There’s not to much to say about New Hampshire. The first alarm clock was invented by Levi Hutchins in this cold state, Jumanji was filmed there, and – oh yeah – the record low temp is -47° (in 1934).  New Hampshire’s average yearly temp is 43.8° and claims the second highest wind speed recorded on planet earth which took place at Mt. Washington in 1934. The state’s motto is: “Live Free or Die.” It should actually be: “Bundle Up or Die.”


8. Wisconsin

There’s got to be an explanation why people in America’s dairy-land fry everything. They fry snickers bars, corn on the cob, and of course – their state’s very own cheese curds.  Maybe the reason behind this behavior has to do with Wisconsin’s average temperature of 43.1° and average wind speed of 10 mph.  In 1996 the temp dropped to -55°. What were people doing at that time you ask? They were sitting by the fire eating fried food, good cheese, and drinking some of the worst beer on the planet.


7. Vermont

The average wind speed in Vermont is 9 mph, and in 1933 the temperature dropped to -50°. In 1978, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream was founded. It’s hard to believe that one of the most successful ice cream companies was able to sell their cold treats with the average temperature of 42.9°. Vermont natives call everybody else in the country “flatlanders.” Maybe this is because of all the hot air coming from their mouths? One thing that Vermont can claim is there abundance of properly crappy Chinese food – the rest of America has no idea what they’re missing!


6. Montana

Montana used to have a no speed limit law on the highways and interstates. Really? Montana being one of the coldest states in the US with snow and ice covering the entire state for about 5 months out of the year. The state’s coldest was -70° (in 1954), and has an average temp of 42.7° and average wind speed of 9.2 mph. Even with these warnings, law makers said lets let ’em drive as fast as they want! That’s kind of a bad idea considering there is such a good chance of snow and ice! (See above photo for justification.) What were they thinking? There were quite a few bad accidents until they changed the speed limit back to 75 mph. By the way, Montana used to be just one big glacier as well.


5. Wyoming

If you have ever driven through Wyoming, one thing you will notice is there is nothing to look at for miles besides shrubs and antelope. The only other object you can look at to keep your sanity are giant fences (when I was a kid I thought they were for cows but I realized that the sections were not connected, and there were no cows – it’s a dead zone). The reason for these tall and long structures is for the snow drifts to start accumulating before the road. They are called snow guards. Did I mention that the lowest temp is -66° (in 1933), has an average of 42°, and average wind speed of 10.1 mph? I’m sure that people from Florida and California are scratching their heads by now. Plus, Wyoming has the Snow Chi Minh Trail.


4. Minnesota

Its no wonder that there is so much hockey in Minnesota…. It’s freezing! The coldest temperature on record is -60 (in 1996).  Keep in mind that if you took a leak in that cold of environment your stream would be frozen yellow snow by the time it hit the ground. With the extreme cold and the unusual amount of lakes, this northern state is a breeding ground for one of the greatest sports on the planet: hockey! The average temperature is 41.2° and the average wind speed is 10.28 mph. Minnesota is not the coldest state, but it does share borders with Canada, and North Dakota just touching those two would freeze a pond in minutes.


3. Maine

Stephen King is noted as of the coldest writers of all time. Have you ever wondered why? It may have to do with his natural environment… Maine has a record low of -48° and an average temperature of 41°. The combination of being one of the most northern of the lower 48 states, and its insanely close relationship with the Atlantic ocean makes Maine a gigantic ice box.


2. North Dakota

What do you think of when some body brings up North Dakota? Honestly though, has anybody ever even talked about North Dakota? If at all, most would mention Fargo, followed by: “YAAAHHH YOU BET YA, DON’T YA KNOW!” In reality, most residents don’t talk quite so ridiculously, but there may be reason behind most of the notorious killings. Its all time low is -60° (1936), average temp is 40.4°, and the average wind speed clocks in at 10.6 mph. Besides being the coldest state in the lower 48, it has much more to offer – like rich oil, anda ton of “great” meth. Those of you who don’t understand what plugging your car in means, just take a vacation to North Dakota, stay at a nice cozy motel 6 and try to start your car in the morning. You will know what to do with the cord that is attached to your engine block.


1. Alaska

Alaska is one of the most beautiful states in the US, it has rigid mountains, plenty of trees, huge ice burgs, and mega shark. Falling behind North Dakota in the wind department at 9.5 mph on average, I might have to add that the lowest temp recorded in the United States was -80° in 1971. Where was that recorded? Yours truly: Alaska. On top of that the states average temperature is 26.6°. Its no wonder Alaska claims 3rd place for alcoholism, it’s too freakin’ cold to do anything else! Also, did you know it is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane in Alaska? The law makers must have been chilling outside drinking heavily and eating too much ice cream from Ben and Jerry’s when they came up with that law – we’ll just blame it on a bad brain freeze.

 


Do you live in one of these coldest states in the USA? Have any incredible “cold” stories to share? Let us know about your worst winter in the comments below!


 

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Cody Klewin
Cody Klewin
Cody Klewin is the owner of Article Cats, as well as one of its contributing authors. Cody spends his time concocting insane ideas for weird articles and hiding under a desk when the hate-mail flies in. He enjoys Legos, the Tourettes Guy, and also enjoys dressing up like Skeletor while stalking people on golf courses or ice-skating rinks.