To most kids, it’s safe to say April 5th is all about the Easter Bunny, and what marvelously sweets and goodies they will receive. Unfortunately, each time they see the Easter Bunny, they might come away with nightmares, too.
1. One does not simply sew an Easter Bunny costume.
2. Clowns and Easter bunnies aren’t terrifying enough by themselves, so why not put them together?
3. Their eyes turn red like the blood of the innocents before a kill.
4. Mustache whiskers, sassy eyebrows, blank stare, cardigan – hipster Bunny succeeds in terrifying you before it was popular.
5. Does it look hungry? It wants to devour your soul.
6. Fangs are better to draw the blood of innocent children with.
7. No eyes, no soul.
8. If the animal world has action heroes, this is their Bond villain.
9. You never know if the Easter Bunny is just an alien, or merely a monster.
10. Behold the new model of rabbit/chipmunk/human-hybrids.
11. These bunnies be straight tripp’n.
12. They’re always finding new ways to get to their favorite meals: our brains.
13. Dragging children to the depths of Hell since the 1800’s.
14. Dark eyes are always never a good idea.
15. Their teeth can get to our delicious brain meat like a straw.
16. Sometimes they take over for the Grim Reaper.
17. Not even your pets are safe.
18. Sometimes a carrot isn’t just a carrot.
19. Their eyes are black pits that swallow the happiness of children.
20. This Easter Bunny will sell you meth.
21. They’ve cross-bred with Wilfred.
22. They can’t stop at just one taste.
23. They come with bibs so they don’t get child-flesh on themselves.
24. Those whiskers remind me of some anime that I’ve seen.
25. That’s no ordinary rodent! It’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rabbit you’ve ever set eyes on!
26. They mimic the flesh of those they are about to devour.
27. No matter how hard you try, they won’t let you out of their chilling embrace.
28. Their misshapen heads and googly eyes are reasons enough.
29. They know where you live.
30. You can’t run from them, they are tireless.
31. Hiding eggs is just a way to lure you into their traps.
32. Once they have you, they’ll never let you go.
33. They’re just like Santa Claus. They know when you’re sleeping, so they can break into the house across the street and stare at you.
34. They infect you and you slowly transform into one.
Only Jay and Silent Bob can save you now.
What’s the scariest Easter Bunny you’ve ever seen? Did you survive the experience unscathed, or do you still wake up in the middle of the night screaming in terror?