Church:

Where we go to be saved – or supposedly go to be saved. Nothing makes the corners of your mouth turn up likeĀ a sassy church sign. Check out 12 hilarious (and sometimes inappropriate) church signs below.

I would disagree. Sometimes that “Oh God” is the result of a highly moving, spiritual, and dare I say, Earth shattering experience. Just sayin’.

When I was younger, and we would go to church, I would time how long the homily was, and then I would think of all the other things I could be doing at that time. This was before cell phones and tablets, and I sure as heck wasn’t allowed to bring a book with me. So, I spent a lot of time counting the number of bricks behind the alter. Fun times for sure.

Does this actually work? Cause if it does, California isn’t doing it right.

Do we really think Jesus would be a hipster if he were to have his second coming in 2015? God, and I literally mean God, I hope not. Could you just picture Jesus drinking a Portland brewed IPA, wearing flannel with a pretty stellar beard on his face? I’m more inclined to think Jesus would be more of a wine guy, but that’s just me.

You know…this is completely true. But some could argue God was kind of absent. Maybe God just watched from afar, willing to step in the moment he knew shit was getting real?

I understand “olds” trying to appeal to the younger generations, but this sign is just cray cray.

Do they have a blue light special in Heaven? If I bring a friend can I get a two-for-one salvation special?

I’m trying to figure out who they were quoting here. Is this Paul’s quote, or did they actually pull this from the Bible? I wonder what exactly they are going to fill my mouth with…the undying and never ending devotion of the Holy Spirit?

Are they referring to the back door? ‘Cause ain’t no one entering through my back door; it’s locked. Unless my dogs need to go potty, then I unlock it and let them out.

I wonder where Jesus is supposed to enter…

I mean, come on? Does no one think “Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t put that on the sign?” “No, it’s a great idea!” What exactly could they mean by a loose tongue and a tight place?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely had some pretty moving moments on my knees, and I’ve definitely shouted the Lord’s name during said moments.

 


Do you think some of these are intentional? What’s the funniest church sign you’ve seen? What would you put on your sign?


Additional Images: Christianpost

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Brittany Valli
Brittany Valli
Crafting stories from a young age, Brittany was destined to be a writer (well, she thinks so). When she's not working on various novels, short stories or screenplays, she can be found exploring Oregon's many landscapes with her husband, tasting some of the best wine, beer and food Oregon has to offer, relaxin' in a hammock, walking her dogs, or laughing at jokes only she thinks are funny. You can find more about Brittany here: brittanyrvalli.weebly.com (it's a work in progress)