Seriously… Astrology Could Determine Your Pooping Habits

Someone must have had spare time while sitting on the pot to think of this. Mr. Rooter is claiming that your astrological sign will determine what kind of pooper you are. Not that I have given this subject much thought before learning of this but I thought we were all the same. Nope. So I decided to get to the ROOT of the problem and see what PILES of facts I can learn . As the toilet roll turns, so do the pooping habits of our lives.

Aquarius (Jan.20 – Feb.18)

Starting with my own personal sign, we tend to be eco-friendly in that we short flush and recycle toilet paper. We Aquarians must be quite the fertilizer spreader in our pooping habits.

Pisces (Feb.19 – Mar.20)

Our fishy friends think while pooping. Their pooping habit is a contemplative existence for them. At least, that is what they think.

Aries (Mar.21 – Apr.19)

The Ram is fearless about their pooping habits. Without dilly, without dally, the Ram pooper gets right to the job.

Taurus (Apr.20-May.20)

The Taurean is bullish on atmosphere. If they don’t like their first option, they will hold it in until the find the perfect place for their pooping habits.

Gemini (May.21-Jun.20)

The twin doesn’t like to do it alone. They prefer to have someone to talk to. If there isn’t anyone, they will gladly listen in on someone else’s conversation. Watch out for those public bathrooms.

Cancer (Jun.21-Jul.22)

The crab protects. Whether it is to accompany you on your visit or to wait in line with you, the Cancer’s pooping habit is your friend. Kinda sounds like Mommy, doesn’t it?

Leo (Jul.23-Aug.22)

The lion announces their intentions and shares it with the entire world. Not ashamed of their business, their pooping habit takes the time to do it right… no matter how many people are waiting in line.

Virgo (Aug.23-Sep.22)

Any Virgo will stick to a schedule. If it is time to poop… then it is time to poop and nothing short of a laxative will change that. They are also particular about being an over or under person. If the toilet paper roll doesn’t go their way… they will change it so it does. They have a hard-line pooping habit.

Libra (Sep.23-Oct.22)

The scales of balance lends not itself to distraction. A Libran’s pooping habit prefers to take a book with them.

Scorpio (Oct.23-Nov.21)

Scorpio prefers the sting of being alone so as not to share their private time. What if one can’t wait until the stalls clear out? The Scorpion pooping habit will always take either the corner or end stall.

Sagittarius (Nov.22-Dec.21)

The archer will be the first to target a location by pulling off to the side of the road or blasting the door wide open in the strip mall. For them… their pooping habit  is an adventure.

Capricorn (Dec.22-Jan.19)

The most efficient of all poopers. They will have a pooping habit that is filled with steps (including lining the toilet seat) but no one does their business any faster — or better.


How close did Mr. Rooter come to your habits?