Every relationship is unique and progresses at its own pace. It does seem, however, that most relationships intersect similar milestones as the years tick by. These milestones I’m speaking of don’t include the cutesy, romantic ones. These are the ones that aren’t quite as glorious or brag-worthy.
By now, the two of you know quite a bit about each other, some good and some bad. Some of those things are important things, the others are nearly useless like knowing what they want to eat from the Chinese take-out place, the delivery pizza joint, the take-home sandwich shop, and the Thai restaurant.
Neither of you get embarrassed anymore about that piece of leftover spinach stuck between your front teeth. And nobody has time to get up from the table to remove it, it’s much more convenient to just pick it out in your seat. Plus, it’s nice to have additional affirmation from a second set of eyes that you did, in fact, dig it out.
Certain private bodily functions from a certain half of the relationship (in the interest of full disclosure, it’s the stinkier boy half) are no longer private. Pants have also become optional around the house.
You have completely let your inner child out and have no shame. You mutter things like “how much do you love me” and “I love you more” in the baby voice that comes a bit too naturally and you’re done oppressing it. Personally, for me, this happened 2 ½ days rather than years into the relationship but I understand that I’m a bit over the top. If my man can’t handle my inner child then that means he can’t handle me because they’re one in the same.
This milestone marks the official end to half year-versaries. Two and a half years is still an acceptable celebration. Three and a half years is just plain ridiculous. It’s comparable to the mother saying her son is 61 months old. Nobody cares that much.
Okay, so you’re not celebrating the 3.5 mark (as you should). But reaching that time could probably the most unfortunate milestone: You may enter a sex rut about this time in your relationship. Whether things are just getting stale or becoming non-existent all together, it happens to the best of us. Getting through the rut together and coming out the other end with a realization and understanding of the importance of sex and intimacy in a relationship is well worth the struggles and will make the two of you stronger for the next few milestones.
It becomes increasingly evident by this point in the relationship that a certain half (again in the interest of full disclosure, this would be the cleaner girl half) will not experience the sweet release that a fart or a burp provides in the presence of your S.O. Learn to hold it in, ladies, learn to hold it in.
After five long years if your man has yet to admit you were ever right before, it’s inevitable that after enough happenstances, he’ll come to his senses and admit the truth. Five years seems to be the time when he can consistently admit that you can occasionally be right…sometimes.
Your man’s hands will always be in his pants. Seriously, it’s like a flip switches and all of a sudden he can’t get through a commercial break without “readjusting” his jewels.
Although you may find yourself fighting over smaller things, the arguments never really last (even the bigger things) and you’re both over it in 10 minutes. Make-up sex isn’t really necessary, it’s overrated by this point.
You come to the very real realization that this person you have shared your life with for the past 7 years may very well be the person you spend the rest of your life with. It’s scary, but super totally awesome too.