Why The Zombie Apocalypse is Impossible

Let’s admit it. Everyone has done some planning for the zombie apocalypse at one time or another. With a culture inundated with zombie movies and TV shows, no one blames you. After all, zombies are scary. If you hope to survive the inevitable onslaught, you have to be prepared.

Of course…there really is no inevitable onslaught.

What Are Zombies?

The first thing to think about with a zombie apocalypse is: What are zombies? There may be a thousand different ways zombies have been portrayed over the years, but most of these simply ignore the realities of life. For example, if a zombie is dead flesh that has been reanimated, you wouldn’t be able to kill it by severing the brain. After all, a dead automaton would not need a brain, but would rather operate on its own. Of course, a human body can’t operate on its own after death, especially since rigor mortis would set in and prevent it from moving.

In other words, if a zombie did exist, it would have to be alive. If it wasn’t, it would be extremely slow for a few hours until rigor mortis set in, and then it would be helpless to do anything. Zombie threat level = zero.

But What About A Zombie Disease?

Good question. Or, maybe not.

Let’s reference back to the beginning here. A disease would only affect the living, which would mean one of two conditions. One, it would have to be a super fast-acting disease to change the brain chemistry enough to cause people to quickly turn. Two, it would be a slow onset (more realistic considering) and people who displayed signs of zombie infection would be quarantined. Either way, if it was transferred by bite as most commonly suggested, there would be little threat of spreading. Why?

Well, even if people changed immediately, the reality is there would be more people than there are zombies. People are the most efficient hunters out there, and dealing with a few rogue zombies really wouldn’t be tough.

What About an Airborne Disease?

The only way a zombie disease would get out would be if it were airborne. In this scenario, there are still only two possible outcomes. One, the infection is quarantined and controlled. People within the quarantine all become zombies, and scientists start to experiment to find a cure. Two, it doesn’t get contained and infects the entire species. We all become zombies and no one survives.

Of course, the latter would be just about unheard of, as even the most deadly viruses out there today are not 100 percent effective. The former is much more likely, and if a cure wasn’t found soon, all of the hosts would die due to lack of nourishment. Remember, every living creature needs some form of nourishment, and a zombie would have to be a living creature.

Unless magic was involved.

A Magic Zombie Apocalypse

Really, the only way for zombies to exist is through magic, which, most people accept doesn’t exist. A magic zombie would be able to be dead, fast, strong, and virtually un-killable. Fortunately, there aren’t any necromancers running around to produce them. Otherwise, they would be one of the most terrifying creatures to ever exist. No wonder the fiction of zombies is so popular.


What do you think? Is there another way we could find ourselves in a zombie apocalypse? 




Joseph Macolino
Joseph Macolino
When Joseph is not writing for his Evorath fantasy series, he tries to spend time honing his physical prowess to one day become the Punisher. Most of the time, he just ends up perfecting the art of procrastination by watching Netflix, reading other good fantasy books, or playing some mindless game. Follow him at Evorath