Why Are People Going Nuts Over Coconuts?

Everyone’s nuts for coconuts. They’re no longer just for turning into imaginary friends on desert islands as you steadily teeter on the brink of insanity.

You can turn it into milk. You can turn it into oil. You can turn it into flour. You can turn it into anything, just eat that crap. Sure, there’s a lot of calories in coconuts.

But let’s get real. You were gonna eat a bunch of chips and hamburgers and hotdogs and ice cream and a bunch of other monkey crap, so you might as well eat something that has some health benefits for your fat ass.

Coconuts grow in tropical warm places. Duh. You can use the milk in deserts and sweets. You can also use it in curries. Coconut water is different from coconut milk. People in developing countries drink it to deal with diarrhea. It plugs them right up. You could try it to. Coconut water is blowing up. It is in stores everywhere. People are drinking it everywhere because it is good for you and it is yummy. You can also buy coconut oil, coconut butter and other coconut products in stores everywhere. Sure, it might be expensive, but you were going to spend that money on something stupid anyways.

Coconuts: This is the weirdest way to open a coconut.

According to The New York Times, the reason coconuts have exploded in popularity is because there are more vegans and they are always bitching about something to it and because scientists have said it’s not that bad for you. Scientists have said that it has fat in it, but it’s not as bad as they once thought.



Coconuts are crazy nutritious. They are rich in fiber, vitamins C, E, B1, B3, B5 and B6, in addition to minerals like iron, selenium, sodium, calcium, magnesium and phosphorus. Coconut milk is unlike cow’s milk, in that it is lactose free so it can be used by people who are lactose intolerant of vegans, so shut up vegans! It is good is milkshakes and smoothies.


Sure, coconut milk has fat in it, but it has antiviral properties and it can’t be any worse than the mounds of dairy Americans consume all the time (you people make me sick!) so chill out about. It has also been linked to coronary heart disease, but maybe you should just put down the hamburgers, huh? Besides, you can cook it with vegetables and stuff that’s good for you. If you get a fresh one, eat it quick because that coconut will go bad.




Cody Klewin
Cody Klewin
Cody Klewin is the owner of Article Cats, as well as one of its contributing authors. Cody spends his time concocting insane ideas for weird articles and hiding under a desk when the hate-mail flies in. He enjoys Legos, the Tourettes Guy, and also enjoys dressing up like Skeletor while stalking people on golf courses or ice-skating rinks.