Tinder…Now the Dating App for Pubic Lice

In a society that can barely keep a long enough attention span to watch a 5 minute cat compilation video without getting bored, it makes sense that a dating app like Tinder would take off. After all, you can literally sit on the toilet and mindlessly swipe right or left while simultaneously eliminating waste from your body. As if dating wasn’t difficult enough with the way texting has disrupted communications or the way social media has made private life all-too-public, this app brings another dimension to the puzzle entirely. Of course, if you thought Tinder was just about getting a quick partner for the night, think again. Instead, it might be a surefire way to hook up with someone who has pubic lice…or, as you might call it, crabs.

The Reality About Pubic Lice

In a report by Science Alert, the threat of pubic lice on sites like Tinder was stressed recently to bring some attention to the modern dating scene and ensure that people use care before casually choosing a mate for the night. With scientists estimating that 1-2 percent of all adults have pubic lice, that means that 750,000 members on Tinder suffer from these little crab-like creatures. In other words, there is a good chance that someone on your list has this extra little itchy treat waiting for you if you close the deal.

Are Crabs Dangerous

Overall, the good news is that crabs are not really dangerous. Appropriately named because of their crab-like shape, these tiny insects are about 1.5 mm long and crawl about through course areas of hair growth. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the crawling that causes the itch, but rather the fact they suck blood for sustenance. Remember though, being such a small insect, this doesn’t really have any life-threatening implications and crabs are not known for carrying any other diseases. It is important to realize though that crabs can also be indicative of other STDs, so if you do end up with these little critters thanks to your Tinder date, it might be time to visit the health clinic and make sure you are clean.

How Can You Avoid Crabs?

The most obvious way to avoid pubic lice is to just not have sex with strangers, but let’s be honest; that would just be too difficult for many of you. After all, the old fashion notion of at least getting to know someone before sleeping with them is, well, old-fashioned! So, if nothing else, you might want to rethink using Tinder as your go-to site, or more importantly, you might want to start looking out for who you hook up with. At least take the time to talk with them over drinks or take them to dinner first, and then see if you can notice any signs that they might have itchy nether regions. This way, you can look out for the big red flag, and know whether it is really safe to let your forests intermingle.


Do you use Tinder? Have you ever decided not to hook up with someone you met on Tinder because you believed they might have pubic lice or another STD? Let us know your experience in the comments below!



Joseph Macolino
Joseph Macolino
When Joseph is not writing for his Evorath fantasy series, he tries to spend time honing his physical prowess to one day become the Punisher. Most of the time, he just ends up perfecting the art of procrastination by watching Netflix, reading other good fantasy books, or playing some mindless game. Follow him at Evorath