In the United States today the pet industry is booming. With millions of dollars spent each year on such items as top of the line medical care, home cooked nutritious food, flamboyant custom made outfits, precious stone encrusted collars, fancy day care, and so much more you may begin to wonder where do we draw the line on what is necessary pet accessories. Article Cats went in search of some of the strangest dog accessories. Some are quite unbelievable.
Okay, I’ll be the first to agree sometimes getting a full shot of your dog’s little brown poop-hole can be a bit embarrassing. My Beagle seems to have the biggest butt-hole of any dog I know, and she displays it proudly no matter what company we are in. I’m often jealous of people who have chosen a breed of dog with built in bottom coverage such as a Yorkshire Terrier or even the amazing Puli. But, are we really so squeamish we need to place a little shield over our pet’s rear? Apparently so.
The OPPO dog muzzle is made to look like a duck bill. Your dog is instantly transformed into what appears to be a strange science experiment that I’m sure PETA would have a head over heels shit fit about. I, for one, laughed out loud when I looked at the images of these dogs wearing this device. I understand how difficult muzzling your dog can be. I once had to muzzle my puppy princess because she was not having any part of allowing our vet to trim her nails, which had grown into talons a bald eagle would be jealous of. The entire process only took about five minutes, but the look in her tiny eyes, as she gazed up at me for help while desperately trying to free her face and her body would have brought any man to his knees. But going to the extent of creating a hybrid animal face to make the human feel more at ease with what needs to be done? Let’s grow a pair, shall we. Speaking of growing a pair…
My personal favorite! According to the inventor, Greg Miller, a male dogs favorite body part is his testicles and when you remove them through castration this affects the dogs overall psyche and self-esteem. Miller’s answer, solid-silicone implants to bring the male dogs little buddies back for a tongue licking party. I’m not surprised a man invented Neuticles. For men the idea of having their nuts nipped open, the insides removed, a few stitches to close the wound, and a little empty sack left behind to remind them of what they could have been is downright terrifying. If I were a man, I’m sure I would wince at the site of the slack bag hanging between my dog’s legs too, but do we really need fake balls to help humans feel okay about preventing thousands of unneeded litters of puppies? My biggest fear with Neuticles is someday seeing a tiny Chihuahua sporting a pair of oversized Rottweiler nuts all because his owner was just not tall enough to get the dates he wanted.
I guess we have arrived at a point in time where we are just too lazy to watch our dog to make sure there are no unexpected piles left in inappropriate places, and heaven forbid your dog should have an accident. Are we too lazy to bend over and pick up the mess? This contraption straps on to your dog like a harness for their butt. The poop bag hangs behind them every step of their adventure like some terrible hemorrhoid. I imagine the bag accidentally getting misaligned during horseplay and the owner scrubbing smeared feces from the beautiful blonde fur of their once pristine Golden Retriever. The website states the PooTrap is an “environmental friendly animal excrement collector.” They can’t say poop bag, but you can sure as heck watch a dog take a dump in one of the motivational sales videos. A couple of positives about the PooTrap. First, there is no need for Rear Gear when you have PooTrap, killing two birds with one stone. Second, in one video you see an individual in a wheel chair with their therapy dog sporting a PooTrap. I’ll give the company credit for actually finding a real use for this hilarious idea.
Four floppy dust mops for your dog’s feet are what you receive when you order the Pet Sweep. I picture some unknowing pet owner who has never watched the thousands of videos on YouTube of dogs wearing boots, desperately trying to force their dog to leave these hilarious looking boots on, and also gently trying to coax them into sliding their feet across the floor rather than hoisting them into the air like a four-legged drunk ballerina. Wouldn’t it be easier to just buy the ones they created for humans? Unless you have the same drunk ballerina problem of course. On a side note, you could couple the Pet Sweep with the OPPO Dog Muzzle Quack and have a pretty unique Halloween costume for your dog. For that matter, reverse the Poo Trap to the front and you have a built Halloween treat bag too.