In today’s society, it seems as though you’re not doing the whole wedding thing right if you’re not spending tens of thousands of dollars on your big day. Sure, when you’re planning your seating chart or choosing what color napkin should go with your cream tablecloths, divorce is the furthest thing from your mind. But it is an unfortunate reality, and what better way to celebrate than with cake? Tradition dictates cake at the wedding; why not a cake at the divorce? There’s nothing wrong with celebrating your holy separation in style. Check out nine of the best divorce cakes ever created:

I Do. I Did. I’m Done.

To the point and pretty damn direct. Hey, you don’t need to spend thousands on your wedding—do you need to spend thousands on a divorce cake? Hell no! Betty Crocker, you’re a life saver, and that Ring Pop looks delicious.

GTFO

You know, you’re newly single, just signed the divorce papers: I’m pretty sure the last thing you want is your ex-significant other loitering around. Hey! Yeah you! Get the f*** out, now!

Happy Divorce

We don’t know about you, but personally, we think if you’re dreaming of putting your ex-husband in a wood chipper, you probably should have gotten divorced a long time ago. Either way—happy divorce!

A Bloody Mess

This cake is kind of a little frightening, but hot damn if that blood doesn’t look extra tasty running down that nice white buttercream frosting. That bride must have been pretty pissed—and strong—to pull his head straight off his body.

Victory

The woman on this cake looks as though she really did accomplish something, like it’s what she’s dreamed of her whole life. She looks like she’s all “I did it! I won the divorce! I am the winner!”

Roadkill

Because sometimes you just get a feeling like you should run your ex-spouse over with the car. Why not make it a permanent split? You won’t have to see him/her ever again, and they’ll never see anyone else either! Sounds like a completely fair and balanced compromise, we say as we roll our eyes.

Burning at the Stake

When your ex-wife is a true … let’s say witch—what’s a better way to celebrate your divorce than by burning her at the stake?

Poor Guy

This poor groom. He looks like he did his best, and now he’s out on the street. This one is actually pretty sad.

Taking Out the Trash

Sometimes, you just have to take out the trash, especially when it’s a bad marriage. But please, whatever you do, don’t actually drag your spouse to the trash can. It’s so much nicer to carry her instead.

 


Would you get a divorce cake to celebrate your separation? Do you think these are funny or in poor taste?


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Brittany Valli
Brittany Valli
Crafting stories from a young age, Brittany was destined to be a writer (well, she thinks so). When she's not working on various novels, short stories or screenplays, she can be found exploring Oregon's many landscapes with her husband, tasting some of the best wine, beer and food Oregon has to offer, relaxin' in a hammock, walking her dogs, or laughing at jokes only she thinks are funny. You can find more about Brittany here: brittanyrvalli.weebly.com (it's a work in progress)