Twitter is overrated, really overrated. It’s estimated that Twitter has over 645 million users, so how do you navigate through all the garbage to find something worth your time? Reading about what Kim Kardashian or Taylor Swift or Justin Beiber had for lunch is as interesting as watching a Big Bang Theory marathon with your grandparents. So here are the most underrated twitter handles to give some other meaning to your life besides stalking that junior high crush.
This account proves that Roombas do have souls. ‘Selfawarerooma’ is like the Nietzsche of Twitter accounts, posing existential, self-aware, philosophical questions that go through the mind of an average roomba every day. “(Duct taped to the ceiling by a bunch of shiftless ruffians) help” or “Haunted by the past, paralyzed by the myriad futures, each choice the death of a million paths to happiness. (Wrangling with a cheetoh)” are some of the golden nuggets you will find when following it.
This darkly poetic account revolves around the world dogs live in; in which, they explore examine horrific and confounding activities. Tweets consist of clever comments on trending topics like “Dogs typing a last will and testament reading: ‘Yo.’,” to entirely arbitrary notions such as, “Dogs advising a newborn, ‘Be a nightmare.’ ”
Just like mixing lace with leather, this account is quite the paradox. It combines the vapid thoughts of Kim Kardashian with those of melancholy Danish philosopher Søren Aabye Kierkegaard.
Gems such as, “The sea struck up its song with a deep, calm solemnity. The souls of the dead came forth to hold me in their comforting embrace. Yacht life,” and “Are passions, then, the pagans of the soul? Is reason alone baptized? The sexy secretary look lets you have both” can be found on this account.
Fly Colony takes Twitter accounts to a whole new level by physically attaching a Twitter account up to a fly habitat and letting the bugs type and send tweets themselves. The tweets themselves aren’t exactly cogent, but the account shows the world how insignificant Twitter really is.
Kim Jong Number Un is an account about what goes through the mind of the ‘Hermint Kingdom’s’ leader. The tweets are meant to parody the Un’s perspective in a darkly naive and hilarious way.
Although, Riff Raff is a rapper from Texas. His Twitter bio, nonetheless, says “iM A PREGNANT TEENAGE PROM QUEEN, i HAVE MOODSWiNGS LiKE CAMERON DiAZ ON HER PERiOD, LUCKiLY LYRiCALLY iM THE EQUiVALENT TO VERSACE CEREAL.” He tweets outlandish pictures, vines, and all of his tweets are written in capital letters except the “i”s, which are always lowercase. It’s both obnoxious and amusing.
What if God was one of us? Well this account answers that question. Funny tweets like “People seemed like a good idea at the time” and “I can kill for Myself just fine, thanks,” will have you smirking all day. The Tweet of God makes the bible seem fun again.
AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) was a pivotal social networking tool for anyone who grew up in the 90s and had dial-up internet. This retro account posts thoughts that go through a 90s prepubescent that are used as ‘away’ messages, and they are all too real.
Anyone who reads the news knows that the most horrifying and weird things happen in Florida. Florida Man is devoted to cataloging the sunshine state’s craziest local stories. One ridiculous moment after the other cumulate to tell the disturbing life story of our complex character, the “world’s worst superhero.”
Ken Jennings is best known for holding the world record for longest winning streak on Jeopardy. But did you know that he’s also a hilarious tweeter? Such witty tweets like “SO TIRED of clapping happily when a kid takes more than 1 try to blow out birthday candles. His wish is screwed, why are we ignoring this” and “No one in our family will answer my son anymore when he says “Guess what?” This parable is called “The Boy Who Cried ‘Chicken Butt'” will give you sidesplitting laughs.