Why Trying to “Win” Your Crush Could Actually Be Harassment

On the big screen, there’s always a man tossing rocks at windows and sending flowers to a woman, even though she isn’t at all interested in him. Since she ends up “coming around” and falling for the guy in order to give the movie a happy ending, society has come to believe that those techniques actually work in the real world. However, in reality, it’s disrespectful (and sometimes creepy) to pursue someone after they turn you down. Despite what you’ve been taught, you need to learn to take “no” for an answer. Here are a few reasons why trying to win your crush could actually be considered harassment instead of romantic.

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Everyday Feminism / Alli Kirkham

1. It Shows Disrespect

If you really like someone, you should respect their opinion, even if you find it hurtful. If you continue to ask someone on a date, day after day, then you’re disrespecting their right to say “no.” If your crush told you they didn’t want to have sex, ignoring the words would be a crime. So why is it any different when your crush tells you they don’t want to date you?

2. It Scares Them

Following around your crush and constantly texting them isn’t romantic. It’s terrifying. Every single day, the news shows at least a story or two about someone who murdered their wife or a stranger on the street, because they were attracted to the person. Even if you couldn’t harm a fly, your crush doesn’t know what you’re capable of. Following them around after they turned you down is only going to make them like you less.

3. It Makes Them Feel Guilty

It’s not your crush’s fault that they don’t have feelings for you. If you keep asking them out, even after they’ve already told you you’re not their type, you’re going to make them feel bad about hurting you. Even if you end up guilt-tripping your crush into being with you, you won’t be happy at the end of the day. No one wants to land a date out of pity.

4. It Makes Them Uncomfortable

Despite what you think, your crush isn’t having fun turning you down. Having the same conversation with you, over and over, makes them more uncomfortable than anything. If you really like the person, why would you want to cause them so much pain?

5. It’s Just Plain Annoying

If you’ve ever babysat a child, you’ve probably had to tell them “no” several times throughout the night. Maybe they kept asking you if they could watch an R-rated movie. Maybe they kept asking for another cookie. Whatever the case might’ve been, it was annoying to have to repeat yourself, wasn’t it? Well, it’s the same when you’re dealing with your crush. Turning you down over and over again becomes a chore for them.

If you continue to ask someone out and follow them around, even after they’ve made it clear they’re not interested, you’re not only harassing them, but you’re guaranteed to lose your friendship with them. So be careful with what you say and do, so your actions aren’t misconstrued.


Has someone ever taken their crush on you too far and made you uncomfortable?




Holly Riordan
Holly Riordan
Holly is an aspiring sci-fi writer who currently writes lifestyle articles for All Women Stalk and News Cult. She's a fan of comedy movies, ridiculous puns, and is the owner of a pup named Ferris (last name Bueller).