Even though Thanksgiving is a holiday that celebrates the genocide of countless Native Americans at the hands of colonialist European settlers, let’s not forget that it’s also about sharing a delicious meal with your friends and family. And who better to share it with than the least annoying members of your family: our pets. So instead of passing the peas to your drunk uncle, who may or may not have made a pass at you, o here are 10 foods that are safe for the furry ones to eat.
It goes without saying that most meats are suitable for both cats and dogs to consume. Protein is the most important component in any carnivorous or omnivorous diet, so don’t feel bad for slipping a slice of turkey under the table for your pup to eat.
Yes, some psychotic fascists do serve chicken for Thanksgiving, no matter how deranged it is. If turkey is safe for pets to eat, so is chicken.
Yes, broccoli is safe to be eaten by both dogs and cats. In fact, the previous record holder for oldest cat alive, Creme Puff, was said to be fed nothing but broccoli and chicken by his owner and he lived to be the ripe old age of 38 (168 in cat years).
Starting to see a pattern here? Pretty much anything that adheres to a low-carb, high-protein diet are safe for animals to eat. Anything your semi-bulimic and anorexic cousin eats can also be shared by the pets. Just make sure they don’t puke it out later.
The only type of families that don’t incorporate pumpkin into their Thanksgiving feasts are freedom-hating commies. Not only is pumpkin delicious, but it can also be scarfed down by dogs; just make sure it’s raw and doesn’t have added sugar or spices. Pumpkin can be a good source of vitamin A and fiber for canines, and even aids in digestion.
Carrots are low in calories and high in vitamins, so it makes sense that dogs and cats can eat it, too. Even the texture is good for their teeth when they chew it. As someone who finds carrots repulsive, I will definitely be sneaking them under the table for my cat to enjoy.
In small portions, consuming cheese is harmless for your pets and a good source of protein. But don’t be surprised if they start farting up a storm. If your pets are lactose intolerant, you can give them lactose-free cheese.
Like milk, cream is also a good source of protein and safe for your animals to eat.
In small amounts, cooked mashed potatoes are not harmful to your pets; just make sure there isn’t any garlic in them. Potatoes contain lots of nutrients like potassium, protein, and vitamins B and C. Just don’t make it a habit, since carbohydrates can make cats and dogs chubby. But once a year for Thanksgiving won’t do any harm.
Cats and dogs have refined taste, so only aged, single-barrel scotch will satisfy their palates. Joking, of course! NEVER EVER give your pets alcohol, you fool.