You can make drugs illegal, but people are still going to get high. People have been getting loaded since living in caves. And they’re going to get their supply one way or another. Just as there is no limit to humanity’s hunger for drugs, there is no limit to humanity’s ingenuity in scoring them.
Here are 10 of the craziest ways drugs have been smuggled:
The U.S. government really doesn’t want illegal drugs smuggled in from Mexico. It has built huge fences and has a patrol force to prevent illicit substances from making their way northward. But despite all that effort, drug smugglers will just find a way around it – or under it (at least until they get busted).
In 2013, drug enforcement agents busted Mexican drug cartel that had built an elaborate tunnel beneath the border that was equipped with electricity, ventilation and even a rail system, according to San Diego’s CBS 8. Law enforcement officials told the station that traffickers spent years and tens of millions of dollars for the tunnel, which was going to be used to move cocaine and marijuana before it was busted.
Police in the South American Country of Guyana discovered a rudimentary submarine that was going to be used to transport drugs across the Atlantic, possibly to Europe or Africa.
It’s illegal to bring methamphetamine across the border, but tequila and laundry detergent are less likely to draw the attention of border agents. With this in mind, drug cartels have begun converting methamphetamine into a liquid form and concealing it in bottles of tequila and laundry detergent. Once it’s across the border, meth cooks in Central California (of course) convert it into crystals. From there, it’s distributed to dealers who sell it to your trashy neighbors.
Here’s what happened, according to an Associated Pressreport:
“He volunteered to take ‘a big sip’ to convince inspectors the liquid he had was only apple juice, not meth. The teenager began screaming in pain and died within hours.”
A woman was arrested in Madrid, Spain after flying from the South American country of Colombia after officials suspected her of smuggling drugs…in her boobs. According to RT, the Venezuelan national was acting shifty on the flight, which drew scrutiny from police. A search of her luggage didn’t turn up anything, but a body search found”certain irregularities and deformations in both breasts.”
The woman was taken to the hospital after owning up to the caper. Doctors found 1.7 kilograms of drugs in her boobs.
In a particularly sad case out of Vietnam, reported by theTuoi Tre newspaper, Tran Ha Duy, a Vietnamese college student, had her life ruined by striking up a conversation in English with a foreigner on a bus, who identified himself as “Francis.” He told her that he was exploring business opportunities in the country, and the two exchanged phone numbers and email.
After two years they met up in Ho Chi Minh City. Francis was well-groomed and dressed like a businessman. He offered her thousands of dollars a month if she agreed to transfer “samples” of goods into Vietnam. She agreed, naively transporting drugs into Vietnam while making much-needed cash. However, by the time she got wise to what was going on, it was too late. She is now in Vietnamese prison, hoping to one day be released.
No one would suspect something as innocent as children’s books to be used to smuggle drugs, right? Well that’s what a Manchester, U.K. man thought, according to the Manchester Evening News, until he got caught.
The drug kingpin, called the “Chairman,” smuggled kilos of drugs into Manchester for three years using children’s books, as well as a coffee machine, a sprinkler system and others. However, the plot unraveled after a suspicious white powder was found leaking from a printer cartridge.
Yup. It’s not just an urban legend or some BS you heard in high school from your male adolescent peers. It does happen. Drugs are smuggled in vaginas.
In Michigan, a female inmate in Wexford County Jail allegedly smuggled 80 pills including Trazodone, Gabapentin and Clonazepam into the facility using her lady parts, reports mlive.com. Jail officials were tipped off after an inmate overdosed on the medications that were smuggled in with another woman’s vagina.
In 2008, an individual crossing from Canada into New York told agents he had 100 vials of holy water he had acquired across the border, according to the U.S. Customs and Border Protection.
Suspicious, the agents ordered a secondary inspection, and a drug-sniffing dog revealed the holy water as Ketamine in 42 of the 100 bottles. Also called “Special K,” the liquid is used as a tranquilizer by veterinarians and is a powerful dissociative and hallucinogen when ingested by humans.
Tamales are great. You can fill them with cheese, chiles, pork, chicken or cocaine. If you chose the latter option, just be careful taking them across the border. According the U.S. Customs and Border Protection, officers intercepted a Salvadoran man at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport.
Under screening, they found a box of 200 tamales that the man had not declared. Upon closer examination, officers found nine small bags of cocaine that added up to nearly 7 ounces.
Birds can’t be sentenced to jail, right? And they can’t snitch either. Who could ask for a better accomplice to a drug-smuggling caper?
In Colombia, police captured a carrier pigeon trying to fly to a jail with marijuana and cocaine paste strapped to its back, reports the Telegraph. However, the masterminds behind the operation were a little over ambitious, loading the bird down with 40 grams of marijuana and 5 grams of paste. Police believe that the added weight made it too difficult for the bird to make it over the prison walls.