We all think of ferris wheels, cotton candy, popcorn and funnel cakes when the words “state fair” come to mind; but new and more horrible incarnations have arrived, targeting both our waistlines and nausea levels with truly disgusting fried foods that have somehow become popular. God knows why anyone would eat fried butter or a deep fried Oreo cookie, but then again who is to say what foods the Almighty might prefer?

Giphy

You say delicious, I say vicious.; the following is a completely subjective array of some of the more disgusting fair foods that have waddled their highly saturated, caloric, heart-attack-inducing fatty ways into America’s pop culture. Cuz’ this is ‘Merica, the land of the excessive! There are surely many other creations worthy of merit, but most of these seem to be worthy of special awards (no, really, they won awards). Since the reactions to these foods are likely to be on one side or another, we had Dr. Steve Brule (John C. Riley, from Adult Swim’s Tim and Eric) even the opinions out with GIFs of his “professional,” doctoral opinions. Crave these special snacks at your own risk.

Giphy

Deep Fried Butter

As if dairy wasn’t bad enough for you, butter has now found its way onto a stick at the Iowa State Fair as fried butter. Its appearance changes a bit as it’s dipped in cinnamon batter, fried and topped with sugary glaze. There’s not much of a filling since the butter melts and drenches a fried cinnamon shell. This sinful treat will up saturated fat quotas to dangerous levels, making those at risk for a heart attack teeter on the; it may sound delicious, but don’t forget it’s an entire fried stick of butter!

Wikicommons

Giphy

Deep-Fried Oreo Cookies

Deep fried oreo cookies  are believed to have made their first appearance at the Texas State Fair, and of these foods, they are probably the most palatable. The iconic black cookies with the white icing interior become encrusted when deep fried, and their blend of cream, cookie, buttermilk pancake batter, and oil is more pleasing to the masses than most of the more exotic fried fair foods. Apparently success depends on the batter, when done right, it transforms into an edible shell.

Foodista

Giphy

Deep-Fried Kool-Aid

Fried Kool-Aid  was created by a Californian “deep-fry king,” Charlie Boghosian. This product has the distinction of being noteworthy not for its nasty contents, but rather for the vomit-inducing qualities that the mere mention of the name suggests. Boghosian loved Kool-Aid as a kid and was motivated to create an “adult” version. This is made with a batter comprised of flour, water and Kool-Aid. (If it’s supposed to be “adult,” where’s the alcohol?)

My Big Fat Cuban Family

Giphy

Deep Fried Bubblegum

The recipe for this includes directions to a restroom where systems can be rebooted for the next attack. Deep Fried Bubblegum is a neon pink marshmallow experience topped with Chiclets. Somehow, this vile creation won the 2011 Texas State Fair’s “Most Creative” award.

Barefoot With Champagne

Giphy

Deep Fried Jelly Beans

A questionable treat created at The Massachusetts State Fair, these unique jelly beans are dipped in batter before being deep-fried. Eat and vomit at your own risk.

Travel + Leisure

Giphy

Deep Fried Cotton Candy

Just when you thought state fair foods couldn’t get any worse, take a look at this. Surprisingly, cotton candy, despite the spun sugar, can be fried. Not only that, it’s served by a frozen yogurt purveyor. So feel free to gag at the thought.

Endless Simmer

Giphy

Deep-Fried Scorpion

Not for the faint of heart, the Arizona State Fair features these unspeakable critters fried, battered, plain, dipped in chocolate, and fortunately, very, very dead.

Travel + Leisure

Giphy

Deep-Fried Pig Ears

Featured at the Minnesota State Fair, Charlie Torgerson, who owns five barbeque franchises , and is famous for his chocolate-covered bacon, has introduced fried pig ears. Not just leftovers used as dog treats anymore, the ears are cut to resemble  curly fries and are served with a chipotle glaze.

Tumblr

Fear Fried Fair Fare

Fried ice cream, cheeseburgers, twinkies, they all deserve some honorable mention; especially Fat Elvis On a Stick made with peanut butter, chocolate, bacon and banana batter (no wonder he died young). Unfortunately, the list gets longer and more nauseating with every passing day.

Giphy

Avoid state fairs. Just some food for thought…

Giphy

Would you ever be tempted to try some of these horrible concoctions? Which of the above-mentioned fried foods do you think is the worst?

Additional Image: Tumblr

Comments

comments