Republican Presidential Candidate Carly Fiorina’s Demon Sheep

How much time do you spend worrying about demon sheep? If you’re like me, the answer is very, very little. But in 2010, newly announced 2016 presidential candidate Carly Fiorina was very concerned about a plague of demon sheep in California.

Well, one in particular.

We know this thanks to her classic viral campaign ad bashing her California US Senate primary opponent Tom Campbell as the most demonic of all sheep, a “Fiscal Conservative in Name Only”. Campbell isn’t even portrayed as a wolf in sheep’s clothing (which, traditionally would make more sense), but as far as anyone can tell, he’s an actual demon sheep. Heaven forefend!

Where to begin with this insane video?

The graphics look like a practice assignment for a first-year computer animation student.

The announcer rails against budget deficits but also against tax increases. Sure, that’s GOP business as usual, but it makes no logical sense to cut revenue and expect there to be enough money to go around. Fiorina essentially criticized Campbell for using real-world logic and math to solve problems, and for working with people outside the Republican party. Oh noes!

Watch for a grown man in a terrible glowing-eyed demon sheep costume, and for a startling lack of minority faces. The worst part about this video? It worked. Fiorina beat Tom Campbell in the primaries, and went on to lose to Democrat Barbara Boxer in the Senate race.

On Good Morning America, Carly Fiorina announced that she’d be running for president. Her new ad shows her watching Hillary Clinton’s announcement ad while declaring that “the only way to re-imagine our government is to re-imagine who is leading it.” Somehow, Fiorina believes that former disgraced CEOs and losing candidates like her are the fresh new faces the party is looking for. She goes on to ask if we’re “tired of the pettiness.” The pettiness of comparing your opponent to an evil hoofed animal, you mean?

Carly for President (we’re all on a first-name basis, apparently) makes much of Fiorina’s time at Hewlett-Packard. From the website: “Under Carly’s strong leadership, HP grew to become the 11th largest company in the United States.” Well, sure, she was instrumental in a merger with Compaq. This merger led to a huge drop in profits and standing, that ended with Carly being asked to resign. That’s some leadership, lady! Luckily for her, her resignation came with a forty million dollar golden parachute. Not bad for a woman who proudly laid off 30,000 people during her time at HP. Fiorina speaks often about how established or “career” politicians are terrible. Funny, because her Facebook page implies something else. It also reveals her love of Hall & Oates. Hmmm…

It’s no secret that the Republican party has been lacking when it comes to giving us intelligent women to vote for. Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, that chick who said she wasn’t a witch, and now this? I think I’d rather cast my vote for the demon sheep, thanks.


What did you think of the ad? Do you think Fiorina is a hypocrite? Would you vote for her? Do you think she’s pop culture’s new Sarah Palin? We’re excited for your opinions.




Wednesday Lee Friday
Wednesday Lee Friday
Wednesday Lee Friday was born November 24th, in Royal Oak, Michigan. It was a Tuesday. After deciding against being a ballerina, an ichthyologist, and a famous singer, she decided to become a novelist just before starting kindergarten. Wednesday went to college in Olivet, Michigan where she majored in theatre and broadcasting for some reason. Wednesday Lee Friday is a four-time published novelist, podcaster, horror fan, and former phone sex gal. Wednesday eats true crime for breakfast, knows enough Dothraki to buy a horse, and is a Simpsons Superfan. Look for her novels, anthologies, and audiobooks wherever you usually buy those things.