Guys’ Crotch Bulge; Are Girls Really Staring?

There are a few male characteristics that often make a lady double take as she passes by a handsome man: good hair, great body, a nice ass. But what about that bulge up front? You know… that sweet spot up front where a man’s jewels are carefully collected – and with the right pair of pants – can be proudly displayed.

A guy’s crotch bulge is something that is displayed proudly in catalogs, newspapers, magazines and on mannequins of store fronts. But are we just looking at the bulges on the innocuously naked mannequins, or rather the sexy model showing off the latest fashion in the Fruit of the Loom line? Do men see these and look down to size themselves up? And are woman swooning over the secret that lies beneath?

A normal guy recently did an experiment where he stuffed his pants and attached a hidden camera to capture women staring at his crotch bulge, and surprisingly was able to record countless women ogling him. Are they staring in wonder and awe? Or just mocking him? Check it out to make your own conclusion:

We know the expression “the shoes make the outfit.” Does the bulge make a man? Or does it really say anything at all?

Because “The Bulge” can vary from style to style, its hard to say if this question could be simply answered. We’ll have to look through at least 7 different types of classic man “bulges” out there to form an effective conclusion. Just take a look below:


Lets start off with the classic ’70’s and ’80’s “Rock Star Bulge” that packs it with glamorous style.

These pictures speak for themselves… No doubt the idea behind these bulges was to increase sexual attraction.

Of course we have to mention the “Business Bulge” – or more aptly titled – the “Mad Men Bulge”. Those nicely tailored suits are meant to show off and hide various parts, and in many cases, have a lovely display of the bulge.

As we can see, the sexy suited man – either rushing to catch the train to make it on time to their next important business meeting, or simply getting a cocktail after a busy day – is drawing our eyes south to check out what may lie beneath…

Next we can look at the “Country-Western Bulge”. This bulge is simply the result of those pants being so damn tight!

And I don’t think many woman are complaining… The country western bulge is definitely a turn on for those of us attracted to men.

How about that “Hipster Bulge”? Although this one is often less prominent then the prior mentioned, it deserves a look. Those skinny jeans and tight shirts reveal bulges all over (sometimes not for the better of the audience), but if we could focus on the front one, located just south of that beer belly, we can often see something noticeably going on.

(Note: this hipster is beer-belly free… he must work out!) I definitely think that this is a focal point for the look, and for me at least it increases the attraction.

Some of the “bulges” we see by accident. Or at least, after looking, you think to yourself, I should not have let my eyes wander down south! For example, the “Dad Bulge”. You know, a young, attractive dad, holding his young child. Dressed in trendy clothes and nice shoes, you admire the scene of this handsome man and his little one.

Then, your eyes wonder south to notice that bulge and as it catches your eye, the thought floods your mind, “I shouldn’t have looked!” But you look again. Torn between guilt and pleasure, its hard to define the feeling you have at this point.

As we mentioned at the beginning of the article – there’s the “Underwear Bulge”. This one pretty much speaks for itself; just look at any catalog sporting men’s underwear (or just pick up a pack off the shelf!)

There’s always plenty of these bulges around to see. As we all know, an American Apparel catalog is essentially hot porn for women.

Finally, the most prominent bulge we’ll explore is the “Beach Bulge”. I remember when I was 16, I lived abroad in Berlin for a summer. The weather was hot, so we went to some sort of water park. Not only are their no dressing rooms in Berlin water parks (so everyone drops their clothes and suits themselves up pool-side), those Speedos all their men wear are something that brings the bulge to full attention.

But we do not have to go to Europe to admire those man bulges, they can be seen right here on the American beaches, water parks, rivers, and lakes.

The clothes are minimal so its natural progression to check out what men are working with down south. Especially as they are pulling themselves out of the water, and the minimal clothing is wet and wrapped around that bulge just right. (Although, suggestion, if you don’t like the top half, keep your eyes from wandering downward… if you can.)

Keep in mind, temperature is probably going to effect the bulge size – but on a nice summers day, you should have some great bulges to eye over. And if the beach bulge doesn’t get you, well, maybe men aren’t your thing!

So, are we looking at that bulge? Does it define a man or say who he is?

For a full array of all the aforementioned bulges, take a look at this commercial for Benefit Cosmetics; they’ve certainly hit the spot when it comes to melting a girl’s… heart:


So – in conclusion – show off that bulge. Announce who you really are and what you are hiding behind those sexy pants!

What do you think? Do you check out a guy’s crotch bulge as a way of sizing him up intimately, or are you just checking it out to mock the man behind it?

 Additional image: Daily Mail




Jack Nelson
Jack Nelson
Jack Nelson hangs out in his cage most days, eating banana cheeseburgers and flinging poo at the people that feed him. He has a pilot's license and his favorite thing to do is go white water rafting. His aspirations include being able to hold down whiskey, safely torment the big cats, meet Jane Goodall and John Goodman; but most importantly, he wants to get out of this zoo life.